Three stars. Rated PG-13, and generously, for strong profanity, crude humor, fleeting nudity and considerable violence
By Derrick Bang
Personality can trump weak
material, and that’s certainly the case here.
Director/co-scripter Rawson
Marshall Thurber’s limp spy comedy is nothing to write home about, and the
so-called plot — fitfully fleshed out with Ike Barinholtz and David Stassen —
is pretty thin gruel, mostly serving as a flimsy template for sight gags and
one-liners.
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| An online data analysis request made by Bob (Dwayne Johnson, right) seems simple enough, but Calvin's (Kevin Hart) accounting savvy quickly alerts him to strange transaction details. In another few minutes, he'll know that he should have left well enough alone... |
But stars Dwayne Johnson and
Kevin Hart give the package far more oomph
than it deserves. They’re a great Mutt ’n’ Jeff pair, milking considerable
humor from their size differential — an entire 12 inches! — and disparate
personality quirks. The ever-smiling Johnson is sunshine and light, unflappably
carefree even under crazed circumstances; Hart, in turn, is fussy, frantic and
eternally put-upon. They play off each other quite well.
Which is a good thing, because
they certainly deliver more than the material deserves.
Central Intelligence opens with a cringe-inducing
prologue, set 20 years in the past, as high school superstar senior Calvin Joyner
— nicknamed The Golden Jet, for all his sports and academic accomplishments —
celebrates his graduation with a triumphant pep rally speech before the entire
senior class. The event becomes notorious when five bullies burst into the room
and toss the gentle but haplessly overweight Robbie Weirdicht, the uncoolest
kid in school, onto the gym floor. Butt-naked.
Via the magic of CGI
“sweetening,” Hart and Johnson play these younger versions of their characters
(the latter’s puffy features, grafted onto an extra’s body, being particularly
spooky).
Calvin resurrects some of poor
Robbie’s dignity with an act of generosity: a benevolent gesture destined to
have unexpected consequences.
Flash-forward to the present day.
Calvin (Hart), despite all those long-ago “most likely to succeed” accolades,
has become a drone accountant stuck on the middle rung of the corporate ladder,
garnering zero respect from colleagues (Ryan Hansen’s Steve being a particularly
obnoxious example). On the possible side, Calvin did marry high school
sweetheart Maggie (Danielle Nicolet), and they’re clearly made for each other.
Trouble is, Calvin’s career
dissatisfaction has magnified into marital tension.
Then, out of the blue, Calvin
gets a Facebook “friend request” from somebody named Bob Stone. Intimidated by
the Facebook culture into accepting, Calvin gets an immediate “let’s go for a
beer” offer from said fellow. To Calvin’s astonishment, it turns out that “Bob
Stone” (Johnson, now in all his buff glory) actually is a new and improved
Robbie. All he did, Bob explains, is work out six hours a day, every day, for
the past 20 years. Heck, he insists, anybody
could do that.
Superbly toned bod
notwithstanding, Bob still is hopeless uncool, decked out in a fanny pack, and
sporting a T-shirt with a My Little Pony
unicorn. Worse yet, his favorite film still is 16 Candles, and his clumsy efforts at “bro talk” generally land
with a thud.
And yes, watching the towering
Johnson wallow contentedly in geeky affectations is just as funny as it sounds.
