One star. Rated R, for strong sexual content, profanity and considerable nudity
By Derrick Bang • Originally published in The Davis Enterprise, 2.13.15
While it’s certainly true that
this film is better than the atrociously written book on which it’s based,
that’s damning with very faint praise.
Because this film still is a
stinker.
 |
| Hunky gazillionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) makes Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) an offer she absolutely should refuse: to become his "submissive" during a brief "relationship" that he promises won't include love. Hey, it's every girl's dream, right? |
Dakota Johnson is reasonably
persuasive as Anastasia Steele, the naïve, freshly minted college graduate who
enters a web of sexual sin with a blend of curiosity, wariness and endearing,
flirty innocence. Kelly Marcel’s screenplay also makes Ana smarter and spunkier
than the dim-bulb imbecile of E.L. James’ so-called novel, who constantly
talked and behaved as if she were 21 going on 12.
But Jamie Dornan is a total joke as
billionaire, super-stud businessman Christian Grey. Dornan couldn’t act his way
out of a snowball in hell; he actually makes Keanu Reeves look talented. Dornan
is as uncomfortable in this role as his Grey is in his impeccably tailored
clothes: stiff, awkward and wholly unconvincing.
Dornan’s line readings are the
stuff of acting workshop nightmares ... although, in fairness, I’m not sure
anybody could breathe credible life into this wooden dialogue.
Director Sam Taylor-Johnson has
precisely two tricks up her sleeve, and she uses both to wretched excess:
constant tight-tight-tight close-ups on her two stars, and instructions that
they deliver every word with breathy, clipped, arched-eyebrow hesitation. Both
affectations are the stuff of turgid afternoon TV soap operas, a level to which
this film constantly sinks.
An over-reliance on tight
close-ups minimizes a story’s sense of time and place; it’s also boring. Most
significantly, it denotes a director who doesn’t trust her cast, the theory
being that (for example) it’s easier for Dornan to emote if cinematographer
Seamus McGarvey moves his camera close enough for us to count the pores on
Christian Grey’s cheeks.
That’s the trouble with theories:
Not all of them turn out to be true.
Taylor-Johnson has only one
previous feature film to her credit: Nowhere Boy, 2009’s thoughtful biography
of John Lennon’s early years. It’s leagues better than this dull, turgid,
over-hyped and under-delivering mess.
