Drive-Away Dolls: Unapologetic trash

Drive-Away Dolls (2024) • View trailer

Three stars (out of five). Rated R, for full nudity, violence and relentless profanity and sexual content

Available via: Movie theaters

By Derrick Bang

This is the smuttiest film I’ve seen in quite awhile.

 

That might have been enough to discourage any sort of endorsement ... but, well, y’see, this flick also is pretty damn funny.

 

When a flat tire forces James (Margaret Qualley, left) and Marian (Geraldine Viswanathan)
to check the trunk for a spare, they find something ... rather unexpected.

For folks with a deranged sense of humor, that is.

(Guilty as charged.)

 

Those familiar with the Coen brothers’ sensibilities will recognize the tone and territory, although this time out Ethan Coen is directing on his own, from a seriously daft script he co-wrote with wife Tricia Cooke. They deliberately set out to bring modern sensibilities to the sort of gratuitously sleazy 1960s drive-in fare that film critic Joe Bob Briggs (aka John Irving Bloom) championed in the 1980s and ‘’90s. (Motorpsycho and Bad Girls Go to Hell are cited in this film’s production notes. I’ve yet to have the pleasure.)

 

The result is an aggressively vulgar, noir-ish blend of smutty sex, nasty criminal behavior and screwball comedy: definitely not for the faint of heart or sensitive of mind.

 

The year is late 1999, the city Philadelphia. A late-night prologue finds an extremely nervous man (Pedro Pascal) in a dive bar, clutching a silver metal briefcase while awaiting contact from another party.

 

What follows does not go well for him.

 

Elsewhere, the cheerfully uninhibited, hypersexual Jamie (Margaret Qualley) is caught cheating on her girlfriend, Sukie (Beanie Feldstein). Jamie couldn’t be faithful if her life depended on it; she’s much too fond of one-night hook-ups. Even so, the resulting break-up leaves her at loose ends.

 

Jamie’s best friend Marian (Geraldine Viswanathan) — also gay, but in a much quieter way — is dissatisfied with her life and current employment. Her solution: quit the job and travel to Tallahassee, to visit her bird-watching Aunt Ellis (Connie Jackson). Marian begs Jamie to tag along; she doesn’t need much persuading. A road trip would give both women time to re-think some stuff.

 

But money is tight, so they decide to offer their services at a drive-away car service, where those needing to go from A to B can transport a vehicle one-way, for another client.

The Last Song: Slightly off-key

The Last Song (2010) • View trailer for The Last Song
Three stars (out of five). Rating: PG, for no particular reason
By Derrick Bang • Originally published in The Davis Enterprise, 4.2.10
Buy DVD: The Last Song • Buy Blu-Ray: The Last Song (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo)


I suppose this could be viewed as a back-handed compliment, but the fact is inescapable: Miley Cyrus lacks the acting chops to play a credible bad girl.

That's a bit of a problem, because this big-screen adaptation of Nicholas Sparks' The Last Song demands that Cyrus' Ronnie Miller be quite the little bee-yatch in the first act ... and she simply can't pull it off. The film grinds to a thumping halt every time she tries to be unpleasant; it's like an acting exercise, with a novice thespian pretending to be disagreeable ... and it simply doesn't work.

Having rejoined the human race, and finally flashing the smile that helped earn
Miley Cyrus an acting career, Ronnie shyly warms to her father's (Greg
Kinnear) patient overtures ... no doubt because she's as happy as a young girl
in love could be. Hang onto the good feeling, Ronnie, because it never
lasts in a Nicholas Sparks story!

On the other hand, the fault may lie with director Julie Ann Robinson, who fluffs several other key scenes in this film, a few of which have nothing to do with Cyrus. Robinson has a boatload of episodic TV experience — including Grey's Anatomy, Big Love and Pushing Daisies — so she obviously knows her craft; the question, then, is whether she can coax persuasive performances out of untrained actors.

The evidence would suggest not.

Greg Kinnear, who plays Ronnie's father, Steve, is this film's strongest asset; his work is delicate, sensitive and wryly humorous by turns. He acts circles around Cyrus ... and so does little Bobby Coleman (The Martian Child), who plays Ronnie's younger brother, Jonah. He's impressively endearing.

Because this is Nicholas Sparks territory, we can expect a scenario involving attractive romantic leads with troubled lives, who meet, fall in love and then find their blossoming relationship sabotaged by assorted contrived plot devices.

The Last Song certainly is no different; we open with divorced parents and troubled teens, move on to a sidebar issue involving an atrociously abusive boyfriend, digress momentarily with a dysfunctional family rent asunder by the tragic death of a child, and then build to the narrative's Heartbreaking Big Surprise (a "surprise" only to those not paying attention).

Oh, and we can't overlook the church fire that serves as a prologue, and generates its own whiff of intrigue: Was it arson? And, if so, by whom?

Hannah Montana, The Movie: Let's do this!

Hannah Montana, The Movie (2009) • View trailer for Hannah Montana, the Movie
3.5 stars (out of five). Rating: G, and suitable for all ages
By Derrick Bang • Originally published in The Davis Enterprise, 4.10.09
Buy DVD: Hannah Montana, The Movie • Buy Blu-Ray: Hannah Montana: The Movie (Three-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy) [Blu-ray]


So there I was, one of few adults in the audience to begin with, and probably the only one without a young daughter in tow, surrounded by 549 eager and excited little girls, half of them clutching Hannah Montana posters, the other half wearing Hannah Montana T-shirts, and all of them passing the time by singing Hannah Montana songs or sharing moments from the Disney Channel's Hannah Montana TV series.

Truly, I haven't seen such enthusiasm since the debut of the first Harry Potter movie, back in 2001.

Although initially quite resentful after being dragged back to her whistle-stop
home town, Miley (Miley Cyrus) perks up a bit after bumping into childhood
friend Travis (Lucas Till), who has matured into a strapping young cowboy.
And if you smell a song coming, you're right...

Happily, Hannah Montana: The Movie delivers precisely what its fan base wants ... and, judging by the applause that greeted the end of Tuesday evening's Sacramento preview, the audience had a great time.

Much has been written about the impressive pop-star ascent of Miley Cyrus, thanks to a simple but clever concept that permits plenty of good-natured fun and leaves room for lots of music. The irrepressible Cyrus is both a natural and a good sport: The camera loves her — from the broad, friendly grin to the sparkling eyes and homespun manner — and she's willing to embrace the goofier aspects of plotlines that include the sort of gentle slapstick that Disney has been using since the 1950s, and the original Mickey Mouse Club.

That's part of this big-screen escapade's charm; the other is a similar retro nod to all the dozens of "Hey, kids, let's put on a show!" barnyard musicals that Hollywood cranked out in the 1930s and '40s, perhaps best typified by the frequent pairing of Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney.

Hannah Montana: The Movie is concocted to permit the canny placement of "12 brand-new songs" — a promotional phrase repeated with delight by Tuesday's young fans — in a storyline that revolves around the teenage star's various performances, rehearsals or songwriting sessions.

The songs rarely interrupt the narrative, because they are the narrative.

For those who've somehow missed out on this pop-culture phenomenon, Miley Cyrus — daughter of country music icon Billy Ray Cyrus — was 13 years old when she debuted in 2006's first season of Hannah Montana, a show that was fashioned, to a degree, around Miley's actual life. She stars as Miley Stewart, a rising young singer whose widowed father, Robby Ray (Billy Ray Cyrus), helps shape an ingenious double-life that affords the girl protection from the pressures of public life.

By day she's just Miley, an average kid (who happens to sing a lot); by night — or on weekends, or when a performance calls — she dons a blond wig and hops into colorful, spangled outfits to become the incredibly popular Hannah Montana, whose fame only spread as the TV series continued through subsequent seasons.

And, in a fascinating case of life imitating art, the same thing happened to Miley Cyrus herself.