My Spy the Eternal City: Family-friendly spyjinks

My Spy the Eternal City (2024) • View trailer

3.5 stars (out of five). Rated PG-13, for action violence, brief profanity and ill-advised teen behavior

Available via: Amazon Prime

By Derrick Bang

This film’s 2020 predecessor was one of the better entries in the odd little sub-genre that places macho action stars into light-hearted romps with children.

 

While Bobbi (Kristen Schaal, left) nervously awaits the worst, JJ (Dave Bautista)
reluctantly allows Sophie (Chloe Coleman) to pursue the bad guys ... while placing
too much faith in her insistence that she "knows how to drive."

Acknowledging that — and seeing no reason to change a winning hand — director Peter Segal and co-writers Erich Hoeber and Jon Hoeber have reunited with the original cast for another stunt-laden dose of spyjinks.

Although this sequel also can’t be taken seriously, the plot is a reasonable anchor point for droll character interactions and — as was the case with the first film — the solid dynamic between co-stars Dave Bautista and Chloe Coleman. Once again, their rapport feels reasonably authentic, and they’ve grown comfortably into their roles.

 

Four years have passed, since the events in the previous film. Former ace CIA operative JJ (Bautista) has transitioned into a desk job, in order to lead a more peaceful life with Kate (Lara Babalola), while also becoming a more attentive parent to her daughter Sophie (Coleman). Alas, now a teenager, the last thing this girl wants is a helicopter stepfather who constantly gets into her business.

 

Sophie’s focus is on hunky fellow high school choir member Ryan (Billy Barratt), much to the dismay of her best friend, Collin (Taeho K), who has long worshiped her from afar. Alas, Sophie takes Collin entirely for granted.

 

Elsewhere, CIA section chief David Kim (Ken Jeong) is horrified to discover that a crucial op has failed, thereby placing the locations of 100 nukes into the hands of enemy terrorists. 

 

Back at North Virginia High School, the choir has been selected — along with numerous other youthful choruses from the States and around the world — for an international competition that will climax with a massive performance for the Pope, in Vatican City. To Sophie’s horror, JJ eagerly volunteers to be one of the chaperones; this prompts nothing but derision from the head chaperone: rule-oriented school principal Nancy (Anna Faris), who doesn’t think he could possibly handle the responsibility.

 

Indeed, the first night in Venice is almost a disaster, when the kids break curfew. But the quick-thinking JJ saves the situation, which raises his cred — a bit — with his youthful charges. Unfortunately, things subsequently go awry when JJ unwisely allows Sophie, Ryan and Collin some “fun time” one evening.

 

At which point, Collin gets kidnapped.

My Spy: License to amuse

My Spy (2020) • View trailer 
3.5 stars. Rated PG-13, for action violence and profanity
By Derrick Bang • Originally published in The Davis Enterprise, 7.10.20

A curious cinema sub-genre finds macho action stars slotted into comedies with children.

Vin Diesel turned babysitter in 2005’s The Pacifier. Dwayne Johnson discovered a surprise daughter in 2007’s The Game Plan, and donned a tutu in 2010’s Tooth Fairy. That latter year, Jackie Chan looked after his girlfriend’s three kids, in The Spy Next Door.

Although it breaks every known level of CIA protocol, JJ (Dave Bautista) reluctantly
accepts a dinner invitation from Kate (Parisa Fitz-Henley) ... in great part because her
daughter Sophie (Chloe Coleman) threatens to blow his cover if he refuses.

It therefore was inevitable Dave Bautista would follow in their footsteps.

These films rise or fall on the personality of the child(ren) involved; if they’re insufferable, ill-behaved little brats who exist solely to make their adult chaperones look like idiots, the results can be dire. And knowing that director Peter Segal was responsible for Tommy Boy, Nutty Professor II and a gaggle of overly broad Adam Sandler comedies, did not exactly inspire confidence.

But the Erich Hoeber/Jon Hoeber script is smarter than usual, for such projects, and Segal (mostly) eschews wretched excess. More crucially, young Chloe Coleman is genuinely endearing as Bautista’s pint-sized foil, and she can actually act … as opposed to many of the youngsters who turn up in films like this.

The result is far more entertaining than I expected. Heck, at times even mildly poignant.

Bautista has made the most of his post-Guardians of the Galaxy notoriety, and the WWE veteran has the same gruff, brooding charm that helped Arnold Schwarzenegger achieve fame, back in the day. He also has an imposing physical presence that contrasts amusingly with a storyline that demands his character “get in touch with his inner feelings.”

Hardened CIA operative Jason “JJ” Jones (Bautista), ex-Special Forces, is introduced while “handling” a weapons-grade plutonium trade between the Russian Mafia and a Middle Eastern terrorist. The resulting mayhem appears to conclude successfully, but appearances are deceiving; JJ’s cowboy heroics allow one of the key villains to escape.

Back at Langley, JJ’s boss (Ken Jeong, suitably condescending) is extremely displeased; the terrorist in the wind has half the means to threaten the world with a miniaturized nuclear bomb. While a rival agent gets the plum assignment of tracking the most likely action in Paris, JJ is banished to a nondescript Chicago apartment. His job: to surveil a single mother, Kate (Parisa Fitz-Henley), and her 9-year-old daughter, Sophie (Coleman).

Kate’s deceased husband was connected to the terrorists, so there’s an unlikely chance that she knows something. In other words, it’s a tedious, likely useless monitoring gig.

A Walk in the Woods: Lackadaisical stroll

A Walk in the Woods (2015) • View trailer 
Three stars. Rated R, for profanity
By Derrick Bang • Originally published in The Davis Enterprise, 9.4.15

It’s easy to understand why the outdoors-y Robert Redford would be drawn to travel author Bill Bryson’s delightful 1998 account of his less-than-illustrious attempt to walk the famed Appalachian Trail ... all 2,200 miles of it, stretching from Georgia’s Springer Mountain to Maine’s Mount Katahdin.

After a particularly difficult day, Bryson (Robert Redford, right) and his good friend Katz
(Nick Nolte) take shelter in a small hut, only to discover — thanks to a scale map of the
entire Appalachian Trail — that they've made far less progress than expected.

The resulting film, gestating since Redford acquired the adaptation rights in 2005, is amiable enough, if superficial: a gentle account of two codgers impulsively deciding to tackle this hiking challenge, and the reality check that almost immediately dimmed — but didn’t quite extinguish — their ambition.

Rather too gentle, alas.

This big-screen Walk in the Woods is disappointing on several levels, most notably because we’ve lost the book’s primary asset: Bryson’s wonderfully wicked, sharply perceptive sense of humor. I usually decry movies that rely on voice-over narration as a crutch, but this one begs for just that touch. (Recall how much Jean Shepherd’s off-camera commentary helped 1983’s A Christmas Story.)

Bryson’s rich voice is wholly absent here, and that’s not merely disappointing; it calls this film’s very existence into question.

Not only that, but Redford’s take on Bryson is all wrong. Redford makes the writer laconic and reflective: a man who keeps close counsel, rarely initiates conversation, and responds briefly, if at all. That’s an apt definition of Redford’s longtime screen persona, as opposed to the quick wit, thoughtful ripostes and sharply descriptive commentary that have characterized Bryson for years.

The second major issue is one of actor hubris. Redford may have been one of the best-preserved 79-year-olds on the planet, when he shot this film, but one cannot ignore the physical limitations that nature imposes with maturity. At 74, co-star Nick Nolte looks 90 (which, yes, is intentional ... to a point).

Age, by itself, certainly is no impediment to endeavors that require stamina and physical competence. Age plus an absolute lack of preparation, however, is an entirely different matter. As depicted here, Bryson’s decision to embark on this expedition — rightly recognized as bonkers by his wife, Catherine (a radiant Emma Thompson) — is a visceral reaction to the death of a friend. A sudden need to prove something.

But the real Bryson was 44 when he began his equally mad journey on March 9, 1996. We can assume that his companion — played here by Nolte — was of a similar age. Let’s just say that ill-prepared fortysomethings are far more credible, under subsequent circumstances, than ill-prepared seventysomethings.

Based on the way Nolte’s red-faced, overweight character huffs and puffs his way through the initial modest climb, he’d have stroked out before the sun set on their first day.