3.5 stars. Rated R, for relentless profanity, crude sexual content and graphic nudity
By Derrick Bang
Well, color me surprised.
Far from the train wreck I
anticipated, Baywatch is an
unexpectedly entertaining take on the popular 1989-01 television series, which
became must-see TV throughout the world — in syndication — after being dumped
by NBC following a single season. (And boy, I’ll bet somebody’s head rolled
after that mistake.)
Mind you, we’re not talking
classic cinema here. But director Seth Gordon and his half dozen credited
writers keep their tongues firmly in cheek, and the result is an engaging blend
of snarky comedy, rat-a-tat repartee, improbable action, bonding melodrama and
— as was the case with the TV show — the ripped abs and barely zippered
pulchritude of unapologetic beefcake and cheesecake.
As guilty pleasures come, this
one’s shamelessly enticing.
Credit where due, Dwayne Johnson
has a lot to do with this film’s success. It’s not merely a matter of his
herculean feats of brawn, which we never tire of watching; he also knows how to
toss a glib one-liner. Johnson has undeniable charisma and presence, and enough
acting chops to navigate this sort of material. In a word, he’s fun ... and so is this film.
Johnson stars as veteran
lifeguard Mitch Buchannon, top dog of the team at Emerald Bay: a
well-recognized figure admired by all, who arrives early every morning to
patrol his busy stretch of beach. He’s assisted by Stephanie Holden (Ilfenesh
Hadera), his regimented, by-the-book second in command; and CJ Parker (Kelly
Rohrbach, a former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model), a free-spirited
lifeguard who keeps the zipper low on her halter top, and has the uncanny
ability to jog in slow motion (one of the film’s many running gags).
The summer season has just begun,
which means it’s time for tryouts for three open spots on the Baywatch team.
The hopefuls include the bookish, hyper-competent Summer Quinn (Alexandra
Daddario); and the awkward, slightly pudgy but stubbornly determined Ronnie
(Jon Bass), an Emerald Bay local taking his third stab at joining this elite
squad.
Much to Mitch’s displeasure, he’s
also forced to consider former Olympian Matt Brody (Zac Efron), a two-time gold
medalist — in solo events — who blew off his teammates in the relay event. Matt
has since devolved into a law-breaking, self-indulgent bad boy who still believes the world owes him a
living, despite having become a social media joke.
Mitch doesn’t want anything to do
with this arrogant loser, but his micro-managing boss (Rob Huebel) insists, believing
that adding Matt to the team could be a public relations gold mine.
