3.5 stars. Rated R, and rather harshly, for occasional profanity
By Derrick Bang • Originally published in The Davis Enterprise, 9.26.14
As first-world challenges go, few
can be more heartbreaking than the turmoil sometimes created by our nobler
instincts.
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| On the morning of their official nuptials, George (Alfred Molina, left) assures Ben (John Lithgow) that yes, they will make it to the appointed place on time ... even if they're not able to hail a taxi. |
We like to believe that we’re
capable of helping people — particularly friends and family members — much the
way we’d hope to be helped, under similar circumstances. The uncomfortable
truth, however, is that benevolence generally extends only so far, and no
farther ... and then most people are too polite to confront what has become an
intolerable situation.
And so the kettle bubbles, until
it boils over: the initial generous act inevitably overwhelmed by hurtful
confrontations that cannot be taken back, leaving bruised feelings all around.
Put simply, and to quote a
telling line from Ira Sachs’ painfully intimate new film, “When you live with
people, you know them better than you care to.”
The speaker is Ben (John
Lithgow), whose life has taken a disappointing turn: such a letdown, from the
radiant happiness he enjoyed only a few weeks earlier.
Sachs and co-scripter Mauricio
Zacharias open Love Is Strange on a triumphant event: After having lived
together for 39 years, Ben and George (Alfred Molina) joyfully tie the knot,
thanks to New York’s new marriage laws. The morning of, the two men are a study
in contrast: Ben, artistic and nervous, fusses over every detail; George,
practical and calm, knows that all will be well.
They share both the service and
subsequent celebratory party with close friends and family: Ben’s nephew Elliot
(Darren E. Burrows), his wife Kate (Marisa Tomei) and their teenage son Joey
(Charlie Tahan); Ted (Cheyenne Jackson) and Roberto (Manny Perez), the gay New
York cops who live together downstairs; and numerous other well-wishers.
Kate makes a truly charming,
heartfelt speech: brimming with love.
The elation doesn’t last long.
Ben doesn’t really have a job; he
dabbles at painting. George, the primary breadwinner, teaches private music
lessons but earns the bulk of their income from his longtime job as choir
master at a local Catholic school. Unfortunately, although all concerned have
known and tolerated George’s sexual orientation during his entire 12-year stint
at this school, the marriage is an “official” act that cannot be condoned by
the Catholic hierarchy.
George is summarily dismissed.
Absent that income, he and Ben no longer can afford their apartment, nor —
thanks to New York’s relentless real estate market — can they find another
place to live. They reluctantly call a family meeting and present this news, hoping
for the group to offer a stopgap, if not a solution.
The resulting silence, as the
various implications settle, is merely the first of this film’s many gut-wrenching
moments.
