1.5 stars. Rated PG-13, for action violence and occasional profanity
By Derrick Bang
When some movies go wrong, they really go wrong.
Given the care with which the
Marvel Comics Group has shepherded recent projects to the big screen, I’m
amazed they ever let this atrocious mess out of the box. Based on this
evidence, Josh Trank shouldn’t be allowed to direct a small-town theater
production, let alone helm a big-budget superhero epic. He hasn’t the faintest
idea how to handle actors, maintain a consistent tone, or even execute smooth
scene transitions.
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| Reed (Miles Teller) and Sue (Kate Mara), obviously having no idea how to approach their next scene, wait in vain for directorial guidance. It ain't gonna happen, now or at any other point during this misbegotten superhero adventure. |
Trank apparently got this
assignment as a result of his only previous feature credit: 2012’s over-praised
Chronicle. For a fleeting moment,
apparently perceived as the Next Best Thing in sci-fi cinema, he even was
assigned to direct the next Star Wars
film (following this December’s Episode
VII: The Force Awakens). Based either on early footage from this inept
handling of Fantastic Four, or
reports of his behavior while making
this film — the media spotlight hasn’t been kind — Trank’s relationship with
the Star Wars franchise was abruptly
severed.
Smartest decision George Lucas
ever made.
This re-boot of Marvel Comics’
original superhero family — the FF debuted in November 1961, almost a year
ahead of Spider-Man’s launch in August 1962 — is even worse than the two
earlier efforts, back in 2005 and ’07. And, mind you, that means impressively
bad, because those two attempts were quite disappointing.
In fairness, Trank doesn’t
deserve the sole blame. He shares scripting credit with Simon Kinberg and
Jeremy Slater; the former has a vastly superior résumé as both writer and
producer, but the latter’s sole previous credit is the completely awful Lazarus Effect, which was unleashed to
unsuspecting viewers earlier this year.
Clearly, Kinberg’s efforts
weren’t enough to salvage the clumsy, sloppy input from Trank and Slater.
More than anything else, this Fantastic Four resembles the cornball
sci-fi TV shows of the 1950s — Rocky
Jones, Space Ranger, Captain Video
and His Video Rangers, and a few others — with their clunky dialogue,
laughably wooden actors and amazingly silly storylines. Yes, Trank’s new film
benefits from special effects that those old shows could only dream of, but
that’s meaningless these days, when even stinkers can boast awesome visuals.
Frankly, Trank & Co. have
ruined the Fantastic Four. The previous two films left Marvel’s “first family”
on life support, but this one puts the final nail in the coffin. And that’s
truly a shame, because the FF have an even richer comic book history than
Spider-Man or the X-Men.
