HBO Max is offering an unusual take on Roald Dahl’s The Witches.
Transplanting a Dahl tale from his native England to Alabama, is akin to suddenly insisting that James Bond hails from California. The disconnect is jarring, and the absence of Dahl’s distinctly British tone is keenly felt.
That said, if an international order of witches wishes to eradicate all the world’s children, it certainly makes sense that such enchanters would travel. Ergo, why not the rural Alabama town of Demopolis? Indeed, location isn’t an issue in director Robert Zemeckis’ handling of Dahl’s creepy-crawly fantasy; the major problem is the script’s reliance on sight gags and special effects, over plot logic, continuity and plain ol’ common sense.
While her mouse-ified grandson and two similarly majicked mice companions watch
hopefully, Grandma (Octavia Spencer) carefully blends the ingredients for a
counter-spell designed to return them to human form.
I’m frankly surprised. The writing chores are handled by Zemeckis, Guillermo del Toro — who certainly understands well-plotted fantasy structure — and Kenya Barris. The latter, best known for television work such as America’s Top Model and Black-ish, may be the reason this film too frequently sinks into sitcom-style slapstick, rather than attempting to emulate Dahl’s mordant British wit.
The story is told via flashback, and introduced during what appears to be a classroom slide show by an off-camera presenter (Chris Rock’s always distinctive voice and cadence). We then slide back to 1967 …
… where our young protagonist (Jahzir Bruno) has come to live with his Grandma (Octavia Spencer), following the tragic death of his parents. When the boy — never given a name — reports an unsettling encounter with an oddly dressed woman, Grandma springs into action, and takes them on a “vacation” to the seaside Grand Orleans Imperial Island Hotel.
Turns out Grandma has dealt with witches before, and cautions her grandson about what to watch for. Witches always wear gloves, even when it’s hot outside; their nostrils are larger than most; they wear wigs to hide their bald heads; they don’t have any toes; and — the ookiest detail — their elongated mouths can stretch to their ears.
Alas, Grandma and her young companion have abandoned the frying pan, only to wind up in the fire. The hotel also is hosting a gathering of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children … whose exclusively female members actually are all witches, led by the Grand High Witch (Anne Hathaway).
