Friday, April 28, 2023

Ghosted: Rather insubstantial

Ghosted (2023) • View trailer
2.5 stars (out of five). Rated PG-13, for strong action violence, mild sexuality and brief profanity
Available via: Apple TV+

This certainly is the epitome of “guilty pleasure.”

 

Were it not for the charismatic screen presence of stars Chris Evans and Ana de Armas, director Dexter Fletcher’s action/adventure rom-com would be nothing but a case study in formulaic excess.

 

Pinned down by gunfire in the mountainous region of Pakistan's Khyber Pass, Cole
(Chris Evans) and Sadie (Ana de Armas) are about to endure a fate worse than death.
But fear not: A dilapidated and hilariously colorful bus is about to provide escape (of sorts).


Goodness knows, the dialogue — blame Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers — is beyond eye-rollingly lame. And while the premise has promise, the required suspension of disbelief too frequently hits 11, on a 10-point scale.

 

That said…

 

Evans and de Armas are entertaining together, and the dog-nuts plot builds to an inventive — if highly improbable — climax that deserves points for originality. (It does, however, remind me of the final merry-go-round sequence in Alfred Hitchcock’s Strangers on a Train, although I’d be very surprised to learn that Reese et al channeled that.)

 

Events begin in Washington, D.C., where Cole Turner (Evans) manages a booth at a lively farmers’ market, selling produce grown at his family ranch just outside the city. He and traveling art curator Sadie Rhodes (de Armas) meet cute over her intended purchase of a house plant from a neighboring stall.

 

This is the film’s worst exchange of so-called flirty banter, and — coming so soon — it bodes ill for whatever follows. But hang in there; things do improve. A bit.

 

Lamentable first impressions lead to a whirlwind day together, after which Sadie departs on her next assignment. Cole, assuming that “magic” has entered his life, texts her during the next several days: at first romantically, then curiously, and finally much too aggressively. All to no avail; Sadie ignores — “ghosts” — him completely.

 

Cole’s subsequent agitation proves quite amusing to his father (Tate Donovan), mother (Amy Sedaris) and particularly younger sister Mattie (Lizze Broadway), who warns him against such “stalkerish” behavior. But Cole doesn’t see it that way, and circumstances give him the means to find Sadie. 

 

He forever misplaces things, and long ago put little trackers on crucial personal items, all of which can be located via his Smart phone. Sadie accidentally departed with his allergy inhaler, which places her — Cole is surprised to learn — in London. 

 

“Go after her!” Mom and Dad insist. “Are you kidding?” Mattie, the voice of reason, objects.

 

Cole nonetheless decides that this would be the Ultimate Grand Romantic Gesture. And so he flies to London.

 

But when he traces his tracker to somewhere on or beneath the Tower Bridge, he’s unexpectedly attacked by three goons, chloroformed, and wakens in the sinister lair of a giggling torturer — Tim Blake Nelson, deliberately overplaying the role — who believes that Cole is a legendary CIA operative code-named “The Taxman,” and has information about a mysterious whatzit known as “Aztec.” Because, well, Cole was in the wrong place at the right time.

 

But just as Cole is about to endure the sting of a particularly nasty hornet, Sadie bursts into the lair and coolly dispatches the baddies. Because she is a CIA agent. And is furious to see Cole again, under these circumstances, and not at all impressed by his protestations of grand romantic gestures. And because he screwed up her op, back in London. 

 

They’re now in Pakistan, and about to be captured by several dozen more baddies.

 

Cue an action-packed escape chase, when Sadie and Cole commandeer a bus in an effort to evade multiple Jeeps and motorcycles while racing along a narrow mountain road. 

 

Credit where due: It’s a helluva sequence.

 

Turns out Aztec is a bio-weapon sought by disgraced French intelligence agent Leveque (Adrien Brody), who hopes to make millions by selling it to the equally mysterious Mr. Utami (Stephen Park). Which leads to all manner of chases, gun battles and other spyjinks, all while Cole and Sadie pretend to be annoyed with each other. Because they actually — clearly — have the hots for each other.

 

Fletcher’s tone is broad and exaggerated throughout, as are most of the performances, which makes all of this nonsense a bit more palatable. One sequence is particularly droll, involving a series of bounty hunters — fleeting cameos by Anthony Mackie, John Cho, Sebastian Stan and Ryan Reynolds — determined to one-up each other.

 

Everything climaxes back in the States, in a revolving, space-needle-ish restaurant (a way-cool setting actually filmed in the Polaris Lounge in Atlanta, Georgia).

 

Fletcher and his scripters obviously don’t care much about plot logic or continuity. The most glaring lapse is the post-London disappearance of Cole’s inhaler, and the fact that he never needs it again, nor is he ever short of breath again. Second place goes to Sadie’s instantaneous recovery from a nasty knife wound, apparently suffering no lingering effects when she subsequently bounces back into her usual bad-ass mode. 


Obviously none of this can be taken seriously, but it would have been nice if Fletcher and his writers had tried a little harder. Evans and de Armas deserved better.

 

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