Robert Kimmel Smith’s 1984 young reader’s novel is a parable about the perils of escalation, when a grieving widower moves in with his daughter’s family, forcing 10-year-old Peter to surrender his beloved bedroom and move into the attic.
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| Believing they've declared a truce during his young granddaughter's Christmas-themed birthday party, Ed (Robert De Niro, right) offers a cookie to his grandson Peter (Oakes Fegley). |
The subsequent “declaration of war” involves gentle, low-level pranks, such as wrongly set alarm clocks and hidden slippers. Grandpa, initially distressed, reluctantly responds in kind; Peter’s toothbrush and schoolbooks go missing. Realizing that the situation threatens to escalate uncomfortably, Grandpa has a heart-to-heart with Peter, using Pearl Harbor to demonstrate that, ultimately, both sides lose in a war.
Although not entirely convinced, Peter orchestrates one more prank before realizing that he has, indeed, gone too far. He and Grandpa reconcile, put their heads together, and devise a win-win solution that pleases the entire family.
You won’t be surprised to learn that Hollywood “goes too far” with this big-screen adaptation, opening today at operational movie theaters. Director Tim Hill frequently yields to exaggerated slapstick, while scripters Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember have turned many of Smith’s mild-mannered characters into two-dimensional burlesques.
The result is an overly broad comedy that only barely retains the essential moral of Smith’s book.
Yes, Hill’s film is laugh-out-loud funny at times; more often than not, though, we’re dealing with the sort of destructive overkill that turned so many 1970s Disney comedies into eye-rolling disasters.
Ed (Robert De Niro) leaves his home reluctantly, not wanting to surrender his independence. The reference to his departed wife is retained via a brief, wistful glance at a photograph, and thereafter ceases to be a plot point. Ed joins the household containing his daughter Sally (Uma Thurman), her husband Arthur (Rob Riggle), and their three children: teenage daughter Mia (Laura Marano), Peter (Oakes Fegley) and 4-year-old Jennifer (Poppy Gagnon).
Ed is given Peter’s room; the latter is bumped upstairs, into the attic. (Mind you, every kid I knew — myself included — would have killed to have an attic room. But to each his own, I guess.) The situation might have remained stable, except that Peter is goaded into action against the “room robber” by his sixth-grade posse: Emma (T.J. McGibbon), Billy (Juliocesar Chavez) and Steve (Isaac Kragten).
Emma and Billy are one-dimensional window-dressing virtually ignored by Astle and Ember’s script, which instead humiliates the already nerdy Steve, by having his slightly older sister repeatedly — and loudly — embarrass him in the school lunchroom. (Talk about somebody who needs her own come-uppance…)
On top of which, Peter and his friends are constantly bullied by an “Eighth Grade Monster” (Drew Scheid, appropriately hulking), which you’d think would make Peter more circumspect about starting his own little conflict. But this script isn’t that deep.
Anyway…
Far from dismayed by his grandson’s declaration of war, Ed enthusiastically embraces the challenge, laying down a few ground rules: 1) no collateral damage; and 2) no tattling. In other words, the family is neither to know, nor become involved.
Cue the pranks, the mildest of which are far more serious than anything in Smith’s book (Hollywood’s fondness for wretched excess, donchaknow). Additionally, Peter gets somewhat sloppy about rule one, particularly when a wandering snake is involved, along with “spiked” cookies that anybody could sample.
Things get more palatable, story wise, when Ed involves his own posse: best buddy Jerry (Christopher Walken), something of an overgrown kid himself; skirt-chasing Danny (Cheech Marin); and Ed’s grocery store clerk acquaintance-turned-girlfriend, Diane (Jane Seymour). All three are a hoot: from Walken and Marin’s bemused expressions and snarky one-liners, to Seymour’s feisty spirit.
By far the film’s best sequence is a boisterously choreographed round of new-school dodgeball: a best-of-three, winner-take-all match between the young and old foursomes. It’s fun to watch, and must’ve been a blast to stage.
My other favorite scene: When adorable Gagnon’s Jennifer plays United Nations peacekeeper, in an effort to bring her equally beloved brother and grandfather to their senses. The little girl’s wide-eyed sincerity is both cute and touching.
Unfortunately, the film abuses such good will, with the way-over-the-top chaos of its climax, which also borders on just plain cruel. No surprise, since Hill is best known for developing, writing and directing SpongeBob SquarePants; his sensibilities are pure cartoon hijinks, no matter how much this story demands some real-world gravitas.
In fairness, The War with Grandpa is inoffensive and family-friendly; youngsters will think (most of) the pranks are a riot, while parents will chuckle over the antics of De Niro and his peers.
But this film could — should — have been so much better.
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