Two stars. Rated PG, for suggestive and mildly rude humor, and brief profanity
By Derrick Bang
Rarely has an August release been better titled.
If you’ve ever wondered about a director’s impact on a film, look no further than this woeful misfire.
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| Dax (Adam Pally) doesn't know a thing about looking out for a dog, when he's abruptly dragooned into caring for his sister's pooch Charlie. Fortunately, they bond quickly over junk food and bad movies. |
From its first scene to the last, Dog Days reeks of directorial incompetence, because almost nobody in the sizable ensemble cast delivers a credible performance. Line readings are flat, wooden and unconvincing; the so-called acting is stiff, clumsy and insincere.
Potentially amusing bits of dialog land with the dismal thump of a proverbial lead balloon. Not that it matters much, because nothing is fresh about Elissa Matsueda and Erica Oyama’s uninspired script, which can be anticipated at every turn.
Marino and his writers apparently have tried to duplicate the parallel interlocked storylines and gentle romantic comedy vibe of Garry Marshall’s Valentine’s Day (2010) and New Year’s Eve (2011), with minimal results. The multiple character dynamics don’t work when the interactions are so forced and unnatural, and the interactive elements feel contrived.
Were it not for this film’s many four-legged co-stars — kudos to veteran animal trainer Mark Harden — Dog Days would be a total bust.
The two-legged players, in no particular order:
• Perky but rather stiff Channel 6 morning show newscaster Elizabeth (Nina Dobrev), recently jilted by her two-timing boyfriend, is forced to take on a co-host: former NFL star Jimmy Johnston (Tone Bell). She dislikes him on sight, but grudgingly bonds, over time, because their dogs — Sam and Brandy, respectively — get along so well.
• Radiant coffee shop barista Tara (Vanessa Hudgens) frets about her wasted college degree in marketing, while swooning over hunky veterinarian Dr. Mike (Michael Cassidy), and oblivious to how much socially awkward, rescue-dog agency owner Garrett (Jon Bass) wishes that she’d notice him. This dynamic shifts when Tara finds an abandoned Chihuahua she promptly dubs Gertrude.
• New parents Greg (Thomas Lennon) and Ruth (Jessica St. Clair), overstressed by the arrival of twins, foist their labradoodle Charlie onto her irresponsible brother Dax (Adam Pally), a musician forever seeking gigs for his band, who isn’t allowed to have dogs in his loft apartment building.
• Widower Walter (Ron Cephas Jones) is crushed when his late wife’s beloved pug, Mabel, runs away; an initially prickly encounter with a local pizza delivery boy (Finn Wolfhard, as Tyler) thaws when the latter offers to help find the lost pooch. As it happens...
• ... Mabel has been found by Grace and Kurt Chapman (Eva Longoria and Rob Corddry), who discover that this dog is the perfect bridge to the adopted young daughter (Elizabeth Caro, as Amelia) who thus far has remained silent and withdrawn.
Sidebar characters include Tara’s fellow barista, Daisy (Lauren Lapkus); ditzy Channel 6 weather gal Alexa (Phoebe Neidhardt); Elizabeth’s gossip-minded friend and make-up coordinator, Amy (Jessica Lowe); and stone-faced dog behavior consultant Danielle (Tig Notaro), who charges $350 per hour and has a hang-up about the way her name is pronounced.
The film actually opens with that latter would-be gag, which isn’t the slightest bit amusing. Less than two minutes into the film, and I’ve already turned to Constant Companion and whispered, “We’re in deep, deep trouble.”
Indeed.
In very short order, because of the manner in which Marino cross-cuts between these various narratives, we’re overwhelmed by impressively poor acting from Notaro, Lennon, St. Clair and Cassidy. Their awkward, bottom-of-the-barrel antics wouldn’t even have gotten them roles in small-town community theater productions.
At the opposite end of the spectrum — thankfully — Bell is laid-back, charming and wholly at ease as Jimmy Johnston: a welcome blast of actual talent in these otherwise lackluster surroundings. His amiable charisma greatly helps Dobrev’s performance, and they do eventually share some modest chemistry. (In fairness, Elizabeth is supposed to be rigid and repressed at first blush, so Dobrev deserves credit for credibly loosening up, as time passes.)
The rest of the actors aren’t exactly dreadful; they simply aren’t given much to say or do, and their characters aren’t that interesting to begin with. Hudgens has a great smile, and she makes Tara reasonably warm; Caro is cute as a button, as little Amelia. Jones tries hard to avoid sliding into bathos, given that Walter is the most blatantly melancholy character, but the pile-it-on script frequently defeats him.
Pally (Dax), Bass (Garrett), Longoria (Grace) and Corddry (Kurt) try much too hard, during early scenes — again, Marino’s fault — but eventually win us over. A bit. Maybe.
One can’t help wishing that Marino had spent as much time coaxing better performances from his human performers, as Harden clearly did with their canine co-stars.
Viewers who hang on for the film’s interminable 112 minutes will find matters easier to endure as the third act gradually brings everybody together; the various dogs also help build some narrative good will. But the various story-arc resolutions bring fresh problems; it’s impossible to avoid snickering, or rolling our eyes, over the relentlessly forced sentimentality.
Dog-lovers undoubtedly will be tempted by this film’s trailer, and there’s no question that Gertrude, Charlie, Sam, Mabel and Brandy get plenty of cute screen time. But this is otherwise very thin gruel, and apt to be no more than a faint paw-print on this summer’s cinematic roster.
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