Three stars. Rating: suitable for all ages, despite a truly meaningless PG rating
By Derrick Bang
At 112 minutes, this return visit
with the Muppets is too long.
Director/co-scripter James Bobin
starts well, with a droll song-and-dance opener that cleverly cites the various
mistakes and shortcomings that plague most sequels ... and then, as this film
progresses, he succumbs to almost all of them.
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| Kermit isn't at all sure about the wisdom of signing a contract with the smarmy Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais), but the rest of the Muppets cast aside any doubts after hearing about a planned European stage tour. What could possibly go wrong? |
For the most part, Bret
McKenzie’s songs are lyrically witty and staged in a manner that plays to the
well-known character quirks of the large Muppet cast. Wry, Muppet-ized send-ups
of classic tunes also prompt a giggle, whether Allen Toussaint’s “Working in
the Coal Mine,” the Doobie Brothers’ “Long Train Running” or the iconic theme
from Titanic, “My Heart Will Go On.”
The problem, eventually, is sheer
music overload ... particularly when we factor in nods to Tchaikovsky, Strauss,
Wagner, “The Rainbow Connection” and an entire production number lifted whole
cloth from A Chorus Line.
Too much music. Way too much music.
Although Muppets Most Wanted is (more or less) propelled by a core plotline,
the script — Bobin shares credit with Nicholas Stoller — too frequently feels
random and unfocused, as if bits were being concocted on the fly.
It would appear that star Jason
Segel had much to do with the success of 2011’s The Muppets, since he also co-wrote that screenplay with Stoller.
That predecessor had two solid storylines: The re-assembling of the Muppet
troops supplied a great first act, after their long big-screen absence, but the
film’s heart came from the unlikely relationship between Segel’s Gary and his
Muppet “brother,” Walter.
Muppets Most Wanted lacks that softer side. It’s
little more than a series of songs, sight gags and comedy sketches: a format
that worked quite well during the half-hour installments of television’s The Muppet Show, back in the late 1970s
and early ’80s, but wears thin here and — dare I say it? — grows a bit tedious.
Even dull.
And, judging by the increasingly
restless behavior of the children present at last weekend’s preview screening,
even they got bored. Not a good sign.
The story opens directly on the
heels of the previous film, with Kermit and the gang contemplating their next
move, after having saved their beloved theater from a greedy oil tycoon. Their
new agent, Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais), suggests striking while the iron is
hot, which means embarking on a world tour.
Kermit is a bit dubious,
particularly when he sees how Badguy spells his name, but the silver-tongued
agent insists the name is French, and pronounced bawd-gee (hard “g”).
Ah, but Kermit should have
trusted his instincts. In fact, Badguy is working with Constantine, the world’s
most dangerous frog, who has just escaped from a Siberian gulag. Worse yet,
Constantine is a dead ringer for Kermit, aside from a prominent beauty mark
that can be concealed with green make-up. One nefarious snatch later,
Constantine has replaced our amphibian hero, and poor Kermit is “returned” to
that same gulag ... from which Warden Nadya (Tina Fey) guarantees he’ll never
escape.
Constantine’s “disguise” fools
most of the other Muppets, who remain none the wiser. The two exceptions are
gentle Walter, understandably puzzled by the faux Kermit’s strange accent and
stranger behavior, and the drum-happy Animal, who immediately senses the
presence of a “bad frog.” But Walter is too insecure to voice his suspicions,
and nobody ever listens to Animal.
The subsequent world tour is
conveniently staged to play theaters immediately adjacent to famed museums,
where Constantine and Badguy hope to assemble a series of relics that will
provide the means for their ultimate desire: to steal London’s Crown Jewels.
And once the dust settles, the Muppets — and Kermit — will take the rap.
The early-round heists attract
police attention, in the form of Jean Pierre Napoleon (Ty Burrell, with a
deliberate Inspector Clouseau-esque affectation) and Sam Eagle, the CIA’s best
and most trusted agent. Naturally, Sam doesn’t think much of Jean Pierre’s
snooty European manner, while the latter finds Sam’s cock-sure American
arrogance equally annoying.
Jean Pierre’s lackadaisical
approach to solving crime — and his lengthy lunch breaks and holidays — are a
cute running gag.
The story subsequently divides
its time between the two parallel narratives: Constantine and Badguy
infiltrating museums under the fuzzy noses of the unsuspecting Muppet troupe,
playing shows to unexpectedly full houses; and Kermit reluctantly making the
most of his incarceration in Siberia, by mounting his own stage production with
the other gulag prisoners.
It’s not easy being green.
The extended gulag segments are
the film’s most obvious case of bloat, particularly when the prisoners — led by
Ray Liotta and Danny Trejo — launch into a full-blown rendition of “I Hope I
Get It,” from A Chorus Line. Sure,
it’s funny, but that’s not the point; it’s not Muppet-y enough, and we’d much
rather be spending time with the gang, back in Europe.
Indeed, it could be argued that
many of the Muppets are overlooked in their own film. Miss Piggy hogs the
spotlight as usual, but Fozzie Bear and Gonzo are shunted aside in favor of
Constantine’s various impersonatory antics. Sure, we spot many familiar faces
in the background — Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker, the Swedish Chef, Bobo the
Bear, Pepe the King Prawn, Statler and Waldorf — but only as a token presence.
Bobin seems to have forgotten
that Kermit and Miss Piggy lead a large and varied repertory company of
players, all of whom have important roles to play. Instead, most of the
“lesser” Muppets are relegated to eyeblink cameos along the lines of those
granted the impressive roster of human celebrities: Christoph Waltz, Tony Bennett,
Zach Galifianakis, Salma Hayek, James McAvoy, Chloë Grace Moretz, Stanley
Tucci, Céline Dion, Tom Hiddleston and several dozen more.
So many, in fact, that the
constant refrain of “spot the star” becomes quite distracting: definitely a
case of Rowlf’s tail wagging the dog.
The three primary human stars are
mostly fun, starting with Gervais’ scheming Badguy. Gervais gets considerable
mileage from his insincere smile and faux geniality; he’s hilariously disingenuous,
and the epitome of a glad-handing cad. Burrell does a much better Peter Sellers
than Steve Martin did, and I wish Burrell could have starred in the two recent Pink Panther updates; I’m sure the
results would have been better.
Fey’s attempt to make Nadya
“stern” is funny by itself, since she looks about as menacing as Scooter. But
later efforts to amplify Nadya’s character are less successful; her “secret”
desire for stage musical stardom doesn’t quite work, nor does her growing
fondness for Kermit. These plot hiccups are clumsy and forced, and Fey doesn’t
seem to know what to do with them ... nor does she get any help from Bobin.
But it all comes back to our
emotional involvement, as viewers, and Bobin never makes us care ... certainly not the way we did in
the previous film.
Ultimately, this sequel ain’t got
no heart, nor can a unifying whole be found amid all these disparate parts.
Bobin should have paid a lot more
attention to the message found within that opening song.
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